People with strong Relator talents are at their best when they are building close and sustainable relationships.

Relator®

A theme in the Relationship Building domain of CliftonStrengths

People exceptionally talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

 

Full Theme Description

Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people -- in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends — but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends.

You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk — you might be taken advantage of — but you are willing to accept that risk.

For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.

 

This Theme’s Power and Edge

People especially strong in Relator talents form solid, genuine and mutually rewarding relationships. Their relationships are close, caring and trusting. They may know many people, and they can relate to all kinds of people. But they also have a very small group of friends with whom they have incredibly deep relationships.

 

How People with Strong Relator Talents Describe Themselves

  • "I am genuine and authentic."

  • "I need time and opportunities for one-on-one interactions."

  • "I love close, caring, mutual relationships."

  • "I hate the initial social discomfort of meeting someone new."

  • "I bring social depth and transparency."

 

Relator: Helps and Hinders

Helps

  • Your authenticity makes you someone people naturally trust. You keep confidences well, and as such, you can be a guide, adviser and mentor.

  • You invest in relationships, and this gives you a perspective into others that lasts over time. You've seen those you've invested in grow and change, and this enables you to authentically celebrate accomplishments.

  • Because you value authentic relationships, others feel valued when in your presence.

  • You care about people — and they know it. This gives you a unique ability to deliver the "hard truth" and have difficult conversations — because those on the receiving end know you care.

Hinders

  • You are selective in your relationships. Be careful about giving others the impression that you have an "in" group and an "out" group — particularly if you are a team leader.

  • Because relationships take time, you can be slow to warm to others. This can give you the reputation of being aloof and unapproachable.

  • The depth and length of your relationships may cause you to make excuses for others' bad behaviour if you know them well. Take care to be honest and fair in your assessments of others.

  • Because you place a high value on trust, you may have a hard time moving on when trust is broken. This can give others the impression that you are unforgiving and intolerant of mistakes. Realise that second chances are central to strong relationships, and that trust can indeed be rebuilt over time.

 

Theme Contrast

Relator "Socially transparent, I invite my friends in."
Includer "Socially inclusive, I invite outsiders in."
Relator "I want to get to know more about the people I already know."
Woo "I want to get to know more people."
 

If Relator is a Dominant Theme for You, Take Action to Maximise Your Potential

  • Find a workplace that encourages friendships. You will not enjoy an overly formal organization. You tend to be at your best when you are part of a stable group of colleagues you can trust.

  • Learn as much as you can about the people you meet. You like knowing about people, and others like being known. In this way, you will be a catalyst for trusting relationships.

  • Show people that you trust them, and they will be more likely to trust others. You can be an important role model in this area.

  • Tell and show your colleagues that they can knowingly talk to you in confidence.

  • Stay in contact with your friends no matter how busy you are. They are what keeps you going.

  • Let everyone know that you are more interested in the character and personality of others than in their status or job title. This is one of your strengths and can serve as a model for others.

  • Let your caring show. For example, find people in your organization to mentor, help your colleagues get to know each other better or extend your relationships beyond the office.

  • Schedule regular and frequent one-on-one time with each of your supervisors and managers.

 

Potential Blind Spots to Watch Out for

  • Because Relators typically do not trust others implicitly and people have to earn your trust over time, some may think you are hard to get to know. Be aware of this perception with new people you meet as well as with the people you see every day.

  • Your tendency to spend more time with the people you know best might give the impression that you are exclusive or unfriendly to those outside your inner circle. Consider that you might be missing out on the benefits of widening the circle and getting to know more people.

 

If Relator Is a Lesser Theme for You

Lacking the intensity of the Relator theme does not mean that relationships are not important to you or that you cannot build them. It likely means that you are more inclined toward a large quantity and greater variety of relationships.

  • Find those among your top themes to help you develop and nurture your existing relationships. Perhaps you build intimacy by working collaboratively (Harmony) or working hard (Achiever) with others. Alternatively, you might be a person who increases trust by following through (Responsibility) or telling the truth (Belief or Command).

  • Explore the best ways for you to connect with people. Maybe you relate to people best when discussing ideas, doing an activity together or having a common challenge to overcome. Your top themes will reveal your unique path to building relationships.

  • Show your vulnerability. The most meaningful relationships are built on a strong foundation of trust. One of the fastest ways to build trust is to reveal something that makes you vulnerable.

 
 

Source: Gallup®

 
 

“My friends are my estate.”

— Emily Dickison, poet